Arizona: Where You Can Rape With Impunity

I remember when all the hoopla began. Lou Dobbs was still a very prominent figure head on CNN.  National and local media outlets constantly struck fear into the hearts of those still on alert because of attacks on U.S. soil.  The boogeyman was coming.  And who was that boogeyman?  The dark, the brown, the RAPIST. The dreaded, the feared, the “illegal.” 

Its hard for me to write about this because it makes me so angry.  Especially because it was such a lie. Most undocumented were just coming to work, not rape, and Sheriff Joe systematically ignored rape cases. He failed to go after real rapists while a rape fear campaign kept him in office. And he is still in office. Excuse me while I throw up for a second.

I’m going to come out with something very personal. It has been only recently that I’ve been able to talk about it openly.

The incident happened over a decade ago, in my first few weeks as a student at Arizona State University. But, it is only recently that I have begun to understand my own feelings. The beginning of 2013 was kind of horrible for me... I was working on a project dealing with domestic violence and rape in Indian Country. It was hard for me to concentrate on this work. The Stuebenville saga and the phenomena of rape culture was all over the media. I started having flashbacks. I would start to cry uncontrollably, shake, and have anxiety attacks.  I didn’t understand it.  Why am I freaking out all of a sudden, over something that happened over ten years ago?  

Then it dawned on me. I realized my denial. Previously, I couldn’t even bring myself to acknowledge the R word. Part of it was because at the time I blamed myself. I was underage, I went to a party, and I had one drink. I was doing "illegal" things in that sense. I blacked out, and when I woke up the next morning, my body felt a sense of euphoria, like I was on drugs. My girlfriends, who were drunk at the party, told me what happened. I immediately started to cry. At the time I was still fairly innocent. I phoned my “friend” who had thrown the party, the main perpetrator.  He immediately denied knowing I had been drugged.  I accepted it, maybe because I wanted to. I didn’t want to implicate myself for underage drinking. I didn’t report it.  I thought, what is the big deal?  I don’t even remember.  Its not like I feel the same trauma as someone who can remember.

Flash forward ten years. The realizations hit me suddenly, like the whole thing was a two by four that suddenly banged me over the head. How could I have believed him?!?  Prior to the incident I had repeatedly turned him down.  He knew I wouldn’t have done anything with him in that way. He and his buddies had another room apart from the party to take girls they had drugged. Witnesses say he let two other male friends partake after he had his way with me, and he admitted this in our phone conversation. It was obvious to the witnesses I wasn’t drunk…. I wasn’t even slurring or acting like a drunk person would. Instead, I was putting sentences together in strange incoherent ways, and acting like I was in a daze. Apparently, I was conscious. It should have been obvious. How could he not know? 

One of the reasons I get so outraged at Sheriff Joe Arpaio, is because it is so personal, and he allowed my situation to happen to other people unpenalized. What if I had reported it?  I would have been blamed, just like the girl in Steubenville, if they ever even decided to investigate. My undergraduate experience would have probably been awful. Especially given at the time, I would have had to rely on Maricopa County police.  Sheriff Joe’s guys. The same ones who are known not do give a damn about rape. Voters have known this for many years. And he is still in office. What the hell is wrong with you Arizona?

Here are some background stories on the issue:
 

Sheriff JoeArpaio: Too busy “busting illegals” to worry about sexual assaults

Sheriff Joe Arpaio Under Fire for Mishandled Sex Crime Cases

New Sex Crime Arises After Arpaio Fails to Investigate Alleged Rape

Joe Arpaio's Deputy Told to Work Fraud Cases Instead of Child Rape Crime

Another thought that always accompanies my outrage: What about undocumented women?  Even though I don’t believe they would have helped me, I do recognize at least I had the ability to call the cops.  If an undocumented woman is abused, if she is raped... she has nobody to call.  The police would treat her as if she was the criminal.  I’ve read about undocumented women being raped while in police and border patrol custody. They can do whatever they want. The majority of Arizona voters don't seem to care. 

I think I'm healing, but there are little things that bring all the outrage, hurt, and emotions to the forefront. As I scroll down my Facebook feed, I come across a "Christian" man who believes undocumented should have "no rights" because, (what else?) "they are illegal."  Well, you hypocrite, I hope you feel my wrath. You are the problem. You empower the oppressors and encourage rape. It is because of ideas like yours that officers feel like they have the green light to rape and assault as they wish. And they do. How frequently does this happen? God only knows.

Arizona, your concepts of right and wrong, legal and illegal physically make me sick. You absolutely disgust me, and you deserve every scathing target of my fury. No matter how weird it makes me feel, I believe women speaking out about their experiences is necessary. Silence is no longer an option.  The time has come for women need to stand in solidarity with each other and kick the crap out of this rape culture invading our families, our lives, and our territories.  The issue isn't going to go away on its own.